The Joys of Being a Dad

Our newest little princess, Jordyn.

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Jordyn, she’s been so attentive – wanting to see everything, and before even knowing how to crawl wants to go places… where? I have no idea.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.” – Sigmund Freud

I’ve been rather busy in the past couple of months, our little girl Jordyn came earlier than we expected, bright an early (4 am early) June 29th; and has been an early bird ever since.

I’ve been slowly, but surely getting back into working my writing in between my job, and being a dad. I’ve been stuck trying to wrap my mind on a topic for my next blog post. I thought a perfect topic would be my own children and the joys I’ve had as a father of 7 children… yes, 7. Some men can only consider themselves so lucky.

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Teyvion, where do I begin? Yes he is that talented. A martial arts expert, magician, and dancer. 🙂

I consider it a blessing everyday, and take every moment to share in as much of their everyday lives as I can. There’s so much I miss out on in the lives of my older children. So, it goes without saying that I cherish every opportunity I do get.

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Tegina and Chad, these two are so talented with photography it’s ridiculous. ha ha 🙂

It’s not easy living apart from them (my older children), actually it’s been hellish experience that fails to get any easier. I’ve taken Sophia’s advice of finding other dads in my, or similar situation as a dad.

It was a bit difficult, and tiring research; but I’ve come across a multitude of blogs, articles, and videos of dads who may not always have the time they like with their children.

One of my recurring favorites being the National Center for Fathering:

http://www.fathers.com/s12-championship-fathering/coaching/how-to-build-leaders-its-a-dads-job/

<img class=”wp-image-826″ src=”https://writingelite.files.wordpress.com/2016/07/12938191_10209186146759041_7145763869397628969_n.jpg?w=300″ alt=”My little scientist My little scientist

I found the above article interesting, and inspiring. To me being a leader is an essential part of being a dad. We lead in more ways than we think and give ourselves credit for.

Looking at my youngest when I hold her, and help her explore the world around her inspires all the joys that being a dad comes with. Her reactions to the things she sees, and the varied emotions her beautiful face gives reminds me of the same emotions I get as my older children experience in their lives. It’s like I’m living the adventure all over again, a wonderful feeling me and Sophia get to share over again. ❤

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Jaedyn holding her baby sister, Jordyn. She’s been such a wonderful big sister. I can already see these two having all kinds of fun together 🙂
My youngest son, Donte and I during one of our workout sessions. He’s an up and coming cartoonist, gamer, and ninja – currently training in Goju Ryu Karate. Needless to say I’m very proud of him 🙂
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Lego Women of NASA

LEGO Ideas | Maia Weinstock Ladies rock outer space! Women have played critical roles throughout the history of the U.S. space program, a.k.a. NASA or the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. Yet in many cases, their contributions are unknown or under-appreciated — especially as women have historically struggled to gain acceptance in the fields of science, technology, engineering,…

via Check out LEGO Woman of NASA — MindMake Blog

Art of Love: The Art of Arguments.

Even the best of couples have arguments, it’s almost as natural as being human. Even with all the differences in people’s personalities there’s a way couples can resolve conflicts and enhance the value of their relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You can measure the happiness of a marriage by the number of scars that each partner carries on their tongues, earned from years of biting back angry words.”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

 

It would be an understatement to say arguments are no fun, especially with a partner, or spouse. Arguments are something we all try to avoid with our significant other, however they are bound to occur; it’s only natural.

It happens to the best of couples, and every couple has their own unique way of dealing with them. We’d like to take a new look, though. One couples may not have thought of before. As an art, not to win an argument; but rather to help them overcome it.

The Art of Hearing

 

 

 

 

 

 

Emotions are a crazy thing. One minute you are basking in the feeling of being next to the one you love, the next frustrated at a minor disagreement gone down hill.

The solution seems a lot simpler than we think, as simple as taking a moment to get our thoughts in order, and look at the disagreement with fresh thinking.

My favorite scene from the movie ‘White Men Can’t Jump’ is where there is an argument over the skill of listening as opposed to hearing.

 

 

Hearing our partners, like ‘hearing Jimi’ is an art form that if take the time to learn, it can help us not only handle disagreements better; but also enhance the love we experience with our spouse. Relationships don’t exist in a vacuum, rather they exist between two emotional human beings that bring their own past experiences and different levels of communication skills.

  1. Allow your partner the opportunity to be heard – Sometimes in the heat of any argument the need to be heard ourselves gets in the way of hearing the other persons’ side.

… so to ‘Stop and Listen’ is the first step in mastering hearing and coming to better solutions.

2. Force yourself to hear – It’s another great method to overcome barriers to truly communicating with your partner. Using ‘I’ statements (sparingly and without sarcasm), such as, ‘I understand how you feel…’ or ‘I’m hearing you say that…’; can bring back to mind your partners side and take the focus off of yourself.

3. Be honest and open.

 

4. Pay attention and learn read your spouse’s non verbal language – a wealth of emotion underneath what we say is locked away in it – something as simple as your tone, a particular look, or tilt of the head.

 

5. Sometimes they aren’t trying to argue, but just want you to listen; yes, it can be as simple as that sometimes 🙂

 

 

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Building a daily writing habit

I’ve always been a fan of Jeff Goins ‘Goins, Writer’ blog. It’s helped me a great deal in my own writing and promoting my craft as a writer. I thought for this next post I’d share one of his posts that I found helpful and informative on building a daily writing habit. Just like with any craft, you won’t get very far if you don’t commit to practicing, and that’s one of the points Jeff makes in his post. I hope it is as helpful to you as it was for me, enjoy 🙂

http://goinswriter.com/start-writing-daily/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+GoinsWriter+%28Goins%2C+Writer%3A+On+Writing%2C+Ideas%2C+and+Making+a+Difference%29

Maximizing Your Potential During Interviews

Stand out

In today’s still competitive job market the interview still remains on of the most stressful aspects of job hunting for the job seeker. Sitting across from the first, and one of the most important people the job seeker will have to make a favorable impression on.

As foreboding as it may seem there are actually several actions that can be put into play to make the interview not so stressful; and in fact something that will more enjoyable, if not informative about the position you are seeking. As a fellow job seeker, I can also attest to how frustrating, if not scary interviews can be at times (especially if it’s for a position you really, really want.)

Four tips to maximizing your potential at Interviews

1. Finding your passion

I guess it would be a bit needless to say, your best bet at growing your potential at any interview would be before the interview, and that by applying and going for job positions your not only qualified for; but also have a passion for.  Of course this requires a bit of reflection apart from sifting through online job boards, or even applying in person. Here are some questions to reflect upon in the search for a career that helps a person fulfill their passion, rather than just find a simple job:

  • What makes me happy?
  • What adjectives would people who know me use to describe me?
  • What are my core values in life?
  • What is my definition of success?
  • What things at work am I good at accomplishing?
  • What things at work do I hate?
  • What do I want to be known for?
  • What would be the description of my “perfect job”?With what kind of people would I be working?
  • How would my work benefit me?
  • How would my work benefit other people?
  • How would my work make me feel?

Take the time out to go to a place where you can find quiet to reflect and honestly answer these questions. Being successful at whatever you chose means taking out the time to find what your truly passionate about, and that passion extends into your work where it will come across clearly not only to you, but also to those you work with.

2. Do as much research as you can on your targeted companies/job openings. 

Once you’ve found that passion, that position that wakes you up every morning, and even keeps you up late (sometimes). Do as much research as you can about the position your going for. What do you as a job seeker bring to the table that allows you to stand out from others. Your research will also help you during the interview where you will face some very tough questioning from the hiring manager, for example one infamous question I’m sure we’ve all had to answer ( and even get briefly stuck on..) is ” Why do you want to work here?” Of course, for many of us the the first answer that springs to mind ( sometimes sarcastically) is, ‘I need a job’. As true as that may be, it actually says nothing about you that helps you to stand out as a good candidate for a position that hundreds of others are applying for.. and they also share your sentiment of needing a job.

Being prepared for a job interview, not only concerning what skills you bring to the position, but also why you are pursuing it will boost your chances of standing out among other job applicants.

Overcoming the fear of rejecton

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One of the first things I learned as a Freelance writer is to overcome my shyness, and fear of rejection. While it seems easy enough from the outside looking in, you actually have to develop a pretty thick skin in order to become successful. Apart from the researching, writing, submitting queries, and and interacting with fellow freelancers and editors; for someone as shy as myself it can be scary place when your inexperienced.

 

This can also apply to other career fields besides writing, in fact, even in actively seeking employment the average person goes through a cycle of rejection that can make the entire process seem like a mountain he/she is reluctant to climb. So what’s the remedy? At some point and time in our careers (… or search of one), social life and other aspects of our lives we are bound to face some rejection; surely there are steps to overcome them when they happen.

Three basic steps towards facing rejection

While it might seem like a daunting task to stare rejection in the eye without allowing it to overcome you, it really isn’t as bad as, or overwhelming as it appears.

1. Not all forms of rejection are personal, but rather some maybe forms of useful criticism – When that job interview you thought went so well, actually doesn’t turn up helping you get your foot in the door, it could be a number of other factors behind it beyond your control. The firsts step to controlling a fear is to first be at peace with it.

2. Allow rejection to guide you, often times it isn’t a no, but rather a redirection to try something new, or work on something that you’ve been neglecting.

3. Realize that not everything that you set out as goals are expected to come automatically, progress takes time, as well as patience. If something doesn’t go the way you expect it, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve failed.

These steps aren’t set in stone of course, however they are steps I’ve learned in dealing with personal rejection as well as the advice I’ve taken from various other sources. These three steps I feel were beginning steps to help, and I hope they do.  Facing rejection can be a seriously trying thing if not approached with a change in attitude, a new way of looking at it; it can quickly become overwhelming. It can also be turned around and used for motivation, and that is where the steps presented come into play.

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